February 27, 2015
by Dr. R. Scott
Why have I not been writing on my Take a Breath blog? I don’t know. That’s the truth. I’m clueless. I have thoughts. And feelings. And ideas. But I’m distracted right now and I can’t explain it. Blogs have become a dime a dozen. Less than a dime. I’m not sure anyone gives a dime.
I thought it about Monday night. There was a car chase on the television news. Los Angeles television loves car chases. I woke up on Tuesday morning and there was a train wreck. Chases. Wrecks. Wrecks. Chases. I want to write about it, but I don’t really know what to say. I don’t even know how to feel. I want something more from life than wrecks and chases.
We had an amazing worship service last Sunday at First Worship. And we’ll do it again this Sunday at 9.00AM. It was so moving. So wonderful. I was proud of everyone that made it happen. I could write about it. I should write about it. But nothing. I have nothing. I’m not sure what to say. It was simply, splendidly, spiritually real. But I’m still thinking about it and not sure what to do with it.
Things are happening in the world. Big things. Little things. Neil Patrick Harris walked onstage in his underwear. John Travolta is getting more and more creepy. Birdman won the Oscar for best picture, and contrary to many of my friends, I liked it. I really liked it. (Birdman. Not Neil Patrick Harris in his underwear.)
My Associate Ministers, Ryan and Shanna, are leaving for new jobs in Kansas City. I’m in a funk about it. I really am. I’m trying to be positive and focused on the future and reframing it in a positive way, but the real truth is this: I’m sad. Just sad. Sad and a little scared. And my church is sad too. I know it. They know it. It’s life. But it’s sad.
I had a dream about Jerry and Diane Zehr. Old friends. Dear friends. What does it mean? Is there a message? An insight I need to pick up and understand? I think about them a lot, but over the past few nights, I’ve been dreaming about them. I don’t know why.
Sometimes I think the spiritual life is so utterly random. One thing pinging or ponging off another thing. Here’s the thing I learned a few weeks ago at a conference: Physicists now believe that what we think is random is not random at all. There are patterns in everything, including the patterns in our chaos. Most days I believe it. Rarely can I see it.
So Take a Breath today. It’s Friday. Feel what you need to feel. Be good to yourself today and another person. Pay attention to life. That’s about all I can say today. I hope it’s enough.